I’d like to think I’m Super Woman, and sometimes, when I’m in my groove, I really am a super woman. Then of course there are those times when I feel like that’s a joke, I could never be a super woman. So I came up with MTWCG…Mother, Teacher, Wife, Caregiver. Although there are so many other descriptors of my roles I could use, these are the ones that stand out above the rest. They are not necessarily listed in order of importance, because sometimes one is more important than all the others, but motherhood will always come first. I will always be a mother. Someday I may not be a teacher, or a wife, or a caregiver, but because I gave birth to two children, I am a mother.
M is for Mother. I love being a mom. I am lucky enough to have been blessed with two sweet, gifted, and bright children. At 19 and 14 years of age, I can honestly say that they are both strong individuals with a good sense of right and wrong. They are both caring of others, independent, and opinionated. They stand up for themselves and are not easily swayed by others. I know they’re not perfect, and may stumble upon trouble from time to time, but they are mine and I wouldn’t change a thing about being a mom. I think that being a mother has given me a special insight on my other roles in life, especially teaching.
T is for Teacher. I have taught for almost 12 years at a lower income public school in National City. Just like being a mom, I love being a teacher. I know that daily I am a constant in the lives of 24 first graders, that may not have many “constants” elsewhere in their lives. I spend more time with these children, than many of them spend with a parent. I know that and take that role very seriously. As a first grade teacher, in the classroom I am a instructor, mentor, nurse, confidante, disciplinarian, and friend. Although I am always bettering myself as an educator, I put my whole heart into my work, and the rewards are endless. A rewarding job, yes, but an easy job, no. I hate it when people diminish the job of teaching. That horrible saying, “those who can’t, teach” hits a nerve. I guarantee that many people who think it is so easy, have never spent a whole day with a classroom of 20+ children, let alone an hour. I won’t go into all the injustices of being a teacher, because there are many. And the political issues are crazy! That may be another blog post altogether. I just know why I am a teacher, and keep reminding myself of that reason when irked by a critic of the teaching profession.
W is for Wife. I have been a wife for almost 24 years. My husband is my best friend and lover. He is loyal, loving, and caring. I love being a wife, not unlike being a mother or teacher, it is a role that has many challenges. I am a wife because I chose that role, and choose to stick with it, fully honoring my vows that I took at our wedding ceremony in 1991. If I knew then, what I know now about being a wife, I honestly don’t know if I would have gone through with marriage. I do know that marriage is a lot of work and as life grows and changes, in order to stay married you have to make sure your relationship stays caught up with those changes. I can fully understand why some people choose to leave a marriage that is not working. I am not judging anyone for their choices, but I know that I don’t give up easily, and I will continue to work at my marriage unless it becomes detrimental to my physical and spiritual well being. I know that sounds grim to some. I am happily married, but let’s just say it has had some challenges as I will get into in my next section, care giver.
CG is for Caregiver. This is my most recently acquired role, and honestly the one that causes me the most grief. I know that by being a mom, teacher, and wife there are plenty of times that I am considered a caregiver. I don’t really think I understood the true meaning of the word until my husband suffered an aneurysm and subsequent stroke four years ago. I am fortunate that my husband’s remaining speech and memory issues are relatively minor, and realize that so many others have it worse than I do in the caregiver role. For that I am grateful. It has been a difficult transition, and a careful balancing act between being a wife and a caregiver. My husband no longer is able to work due to his communication disabilities, which makes me the only employed parent, and leaves my husband unhappily at home full time. The journey over the past four years has been a difficult one for my family. I honestly feel that I am the most impacted by this life changing event (I know that sound selfish) as I am constantly trying to make sure that our lives run as smoothly as possible.
Even as I write this I am unsure of how well I am doing managing my roles, and I hope my writing about this crazy curve that has hit our life, it will help me to figure it out. Do I really want to be Super Woman? Not really, but just a few super powers would be really helpful!